False information not only polarizes societies but also ruins romantic relationships. A study by communication scholar Emily Van Duyn of the University of Illinois Urbana-Champaign reveals that misinformation and disinformation now extend their reach into romantic partnerships by destabilizing marriages and long-term relationships across the United States.
When Shared Realities Collapse: How Misinformation and Disinformation Disrupt Modern Romantic Relationships
Inside the Study
Communication scholar Emily Van Duyn listened to heartbreak. 28 stories revealed how the battle over truth has moved from the public square into the four walls of bedrooms.
Van Duyn has studied how digital media shapes political behavior and human interaction. Her prior research explored secrecy in political discourse, polarization, and how online communities influence public opinion. Her newer study continues that inquiry by focusing on the private effects of misinformation on emotional bonds between couples.
She conducted in-depth qualitative interviews with 28 Americans whose romantic relationships ended due to ideological conflict. These participants represented diverse political leanings. These include Libertarian, Conservative, Progressive, and Democratic identities. The relationships varied from dating partnerships to marriages lasting over two decades.
Participants shared detailed stories about disagreement, trust, and emotional distance. Recurring patterns were analyzed to determine how false information reshaped perceptions of truth. The pursuit was based on the theory of shared reality. This asserts that intimacy depends on a common understanding of what is real, true, and meaningful.
Fractured Realities
Personal stories read like heartbreak diaries. Partners were transformed by online echo chambers, trust collapsing as facts turned fluid, and affection lost to alternate realities.
The interviews revealed that false information does not merely polarize opinions but dismantles shared perception. Partners did not just argue about policies. They inhabited entirely separate realities. This fragmentation of truth eroded trust, communication, and emotional connection, thus ultimately leading to the disintegration of romantic bonds.
• Divergent Realities: Participants reported that false information caused couples to live in different versions of reality. Immersion in false narratives created irreconcilable disagreements over facts, transforming once-manageable ideological differences into deep emotional estrangement and relational breakdown.
• Identity Transformation: Exposure to misleading content often became a defining aspect of identity. When political misinformation shaped self-perception, attempts to correct it were interpreted as personal attacks. This intensified defensiveness, preventing meaningful discussion and reinforcing emotional distance.
• Algorithmic Immersion: Many participants criticized social media algorithms that promoted increasingly extreme material. Once a partner engaged with misleading content, recommendation systems pushed further radicalization. This process deepened separation from reality and increased relational alienation.
• Erosion of Correction: Relationships usually serve as safe environments where partners can challenge questionable beliefs. But isolation due to false information destroyed that function. Partners who tried to offer counterevidence were dismissed as uninformed or manipulated. This closes channels of dialogue.
• Defensive Withdrawal: The more false information is embedded, the more discussions become emotionally charged. Partners grew defensive when confronted. Others withdrew to avoid conflict. Note that this withdrawal accelerates the collapse of communication and affection by fostering silence and resentment.
Lessons Beyond Love
The results challenge platforms, policymakers, and partners alike to rethink the cost of false information, and to restore truth as the foundation of democracy and devotion.
Van Duyn emphasized that shared reality underpins relational stability. Specifically, because false information divided perceptions of truth, couples lost the foundation for mutual understanding. Participants expressed that they no longer recognized the values or beliefs of their partners and further described the experience as living beside a stranger.
The results demonstrate that the effects of misinformation and disinformation stretch beyond civic discourse to reach deeper into the personal lives of people. These illustrate how online falsehoods not only polarize voters but also erode the shared foundations of family and intimacy, producing consequences that are social, psychological, and relational in scope.
Moreover, for individuals, the findings highlight the importance of cultivating media literacy and critical awareness within relationships. Conversations about information sources, digital habits, and trust in media are no longer trivial. They are fundamental to sustaining empathy and emotional security within modern partnerships shaped by online influence.
The study also raises ethical questions about algorithmic design and accountability. Systems that prioritize engagement over accuracy contribute to personal harm by amplifying falsehoods that reshape the beliefs and identities of users. Social media platforms have been blamed for promoting the dissemination of false information due to their algorithms.
Both scholars and policymakers are recommended to combat false information not only for the sake of protecting democratic processes and improving information literacy but also for preserving social cohesion and emotional well-being. Proposed interventions must address not only the technological and interpersonal dimensions of the problem.
FURTHER READING AND REFERENCE
- Van Duyn, E. 2025. “Negotiating Reality: How Mis/Disinformation Shapes Romantic Relationships.” New Media & Society. DOI: 1177/14614448251367017